Part 1: The Disturbing Parallels Between Abusive Relationships and Cults

​Written by Francesca Anastasi - aka Sabeya

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Not long ago, I was at a popular tourist attraction, eager to soak in the beautiful ambiance. As I wandered around, appreciating the sights, a sudden commotion caught my attention. A large group of women emerged, moving as one entity, dressed uniformly in long dresses and sporting similar hairstyles. It was as if they had stepped out of a bygone era, straight from the pages of a history book. However, what struck me the most was the presence of two male chaperons who seemed to hold authority over the women.

The women moved with a certain air of submission. In one instance, I witnessed one of the chaperons barking orders at a few women, directing them to fix their hair. Without hesitation, the women obeyed, their compliance indicative of a deeply ingrained sense of obedience and submissiveness. It became apparent to me that this group was part of a religious sect, adhering to a strict set of beliefs and practices.

My heart ached as I observed these women being treated as though their worth was diminished, reduced to mere vessels of obedience. Their presence triggered a flood of memories from my own past, as I had grown up in a cult that propagated similar notions, where women were expected to submit and were denied certain roles and opportunities. The memories from that experience resurfaced, reminding me of the psychological wounds inflicted by such oppressive environments.

In both cults and abusive relationships, a distorted sense of reality takes hold. Manipulation becomes the norm, subtly weaving its way into the fabric of everyday life. Like the insidious tactics employed by an abusive partner, cults employ a range of strategies to ensure compliance and silence dissent. Critical thinking is discouraged, and any questioning of the imposed beliefs is met with condemnation or threats.

Just as an abusive partner seeks to isolate their victim from friends and family, cults employ a similar tactic. They paint those outside their influence as enemies, branding them as 'bad,' 'evil,' or even 'demonic.' By severing ties with the outside world, the cult gains complete control over its followers, manipulating their perceptions and trapping them within a confined reality.

Having broken free from the clutches of both an abusive relationship and a cult, I now recognize the striking similarities between the two. The tactics employed by abusers and cult leaders are often eerily alike, preying upon vulnerability and exploiting the deep-seated human need for belonging and purpose. Manipulation, control, isolation, and the suppression of individuality are hallmarks shared by both.

Awareness is the first step towards liberation. As I reflect upon my own journey, I am compelled to shed light on these parallels, to empower others who may find themselves entangled in similar webs of manipulation and control. Recognizing the signs, seeking support, and reclaiming one's autonomy are vital in breaking free from the grasp of both abusive relationships and insidious cults.

It is through education, support, and resilience that we can reclaim our lives and help others find their way out of the darkness. By exposing the shared tactics of abusers and cults, we can foster a society that values individual freedom, respect, and equality, promoting healing and preventing the perpetuation of these cycles of manipulation.

If you find yourself resonating with the experiences shared in this story, if the echoes of manipulation and control reverberate within your own life, know that you are not alone. Recognizing the signs of an abusive relationship or the grip of a manipulative cult is the first step towards reclaiming your freedom and restoring your sense of self.

Please, do not suffer in silence. Reach out for help and support. There are organizations, helplines, and professionals available to listen, guide, and provide assistance. Share your story with someone you trust—a friend, a family member, or a counselor. They can help you navigate the complexities of your situation and offer the support you need.

Remember, breaking free from the clutches of abuse or a cult requires courage, resilience, and a network of support. Together, we can dismantle the cycles of manipulation and create a world where everyone can live with dignity, respect, and autonomy.

You deserve love, respect, and a life free from control. Take that first step towards healing today—reach out, share your story, and let the journey towards liberation begin.

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Francesca Anastasi (also known as Sabeya) is the visionary behind Shimmy Mob (are we assuming knowledge of Shimmy Mob?  Or do we need to include a link or a quick blurb here?). Dedicated to aiding abuse survivors, she works to foster awareness of abuse indicators, to facilitate recovery, and to enable triumphant living. Expert in comprehensive personal growth and mental well-being, she guides her clients toward success across all facets of life.