Hoovering

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"The way you help an alcoholic in removing the alcohol, in the same way
you help an abuser by removing the victim from the abuser's reach."

Hoovering is a manipulative tactic that is often used by abusive partners in order to suck their victims back into the relationship. The term is named after the Hoover vacuum cleaner, as the abuser "sucks" the victim back into the relationship in the same way that a vacuum cleaner sucks up dirt and debris.

One of the main ways that abusers use hoovering is by promising to change and make things better in the relationship. They may apologize for their past behavior and claim that they are committed to making things work this time around. They may also try to appeal to the victim's emotions, reminding them of the good times they had together and manipulating them into believing that the relationship is worth salvaging.

Another common tactic used in hoovering is to make the victim feel guilty for wanting to leave the relationship. The abuser may accuse the victim of being selfish or ungrateful, and may even go so far as to threaten self-harm or suicide in order to manipulate the victim into staying.

It is important to recognize hoovering for what it is: a manipulative tactic used by abusers to regain control over their victims. If you are in a relationship with someone who is using hoovering against you, it is important to remember that you are not to blame and that you deserve to be treated with respect and dignity.

Leaving an abusive relationship can be difficult, but it is important to do so in a safe and responsible manner. It is recommended that you seek the help of a trained professional, such as a therapist or counselor, who can help you to develop a plan for leaving the relationship safely. It is also important to reach out to friends and family members for support and to let them know what you are going through.

In conclusion, hoovering is a manipulative tactic used by abusive partners to regain control over their victims. It is important to recognize this behavior for what it is and to take steps to leave the relationship safely with the help of trained professionals. By doing so, you can protect yourself from further abuse and begin to heal from the trauma of the relationship.

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